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Author Topic: LOVE
FALLOUTGOD
Wandering Hero
Member # 94

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posted June 10, 2003 20:45      Profile for FALLOUTGOD   Email FALLOUTGOD   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 161401573   
something peirced the emptyness
my heart bleeds at its ugliness
it was a feeling I could not control
she was a broken angel to adore
her smile had lifted up my soul
my breath her beuty had now stole
I wanted to taste those lips
my minds thoughts were at an eclipse
we talked of life and how we thought
she made me feel like I was god
we liked all things the same
our love had grown like it was insane
I told her how I felt about her
she made my problems seem like a blur
I loved her more than any other
but this was not even her bother
she said that she loved me too
but then she said that we are through
she said a lot of things to me
and my mind still can't get free
I diden't mean for it to be like this
she told me this and I rememberd her kiss
she left my life hanging by a thread
telling me she diden't mean what she had said
but then I asked her what she did mean
I hope for that she can't ever get clean
my mind had ponderd all that passed
my heart aches are still very vast
she never loved me as I now see
thought she may not even agree
she played me like the fool I was
for this you may give her appluase
but she had lied to me so much
my drug abuse habit became a crutch
she never loved me like she said
and now I wish that I was dead
I loved her then and still I do
but damn it, now I fucking hate you too...

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xcuse me while i kill my self
blow my brain across the wall
fuck you all, how do you do
fuck me? fuck you too
and now i end this all

xcuse me while...... i kill my seeeeeeeeeeeeeelf


Posts: 389 | From: some-place-near-hell | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Scotty the Great
Paragon
Member # 1

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posted June 10, 2003 21:01      Profile for Scotty the Great   Author's Homepage   Email Scotty the Great   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 83373429
Wow man, that was deep. Amazing work, indeed; reminds me of something that happened to me a few years back that I'd rather not get into.

Maybe that's why I try to avoid relationships.


Posts: 2906 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
FALLOUTGOD
Wandering Hero
Member # 94

Member Rated:

posted June 10, 2003 22:44      Profile for FALLOUTGOD   Email FALLOUTGOD   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 161401573   
the poem contradicts it self as my emotions do about the whole thing... I wrote many poems about it sence the incident, trying to capture the emotions and get the them across through poetic writing, I have to say this is my most succesful one so far out of like a good 5 or so... the emotion was more intense at that time though and my geuss is that was why those few poems I wrote back then just sucked... however I plan to go back and revise them when I have more time, I would like to get the feelings of the moment across through the poems, but I suppose some things are just too intense to be tamed with words and onto paper by a poet as inexpiranced and young as I, yet I had given up on far too many things through out my life and self expression of my deepest feelings will not be one of those, unless I die before I reach my goal of recognition as a true poet but then my grammer sucks and everyone else has failed to recreate the greatness of ee, who is my role model for the poetic art as he used no grammer and no punctuation in his work as I usually do to

--------------------

xcuse me while i kill my self
blow my brain across the wall
fuck you all, how do you do
fuck me? fuck you too
and now i end this all

xcuse me while...... i kill my seeeeeeeeeeeeeelf


Posts: 389 | From: some-place-near-hell | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Slurrydevil
Vault Champion
Member # 11

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posted June 10, 2003 23:22      Profile for Slurrydevil   Author's Homepage   Email Slurrydevil   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 106347609   
Yeah it was pretty deep, i guess its good for you to get it onto paper...its supposed to have a purging effect.

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What is new is always evil, being that which wants to conquer and overthrow the old boundary markers and the old pieties; and only what is old is good. The good men are in all ages those who dig the old thoughts, digging deep and getting them to bear fruit - the farmers of the spirit. But eventually all land is depleted, and the ploughshare of evil must come again and again.

- Nietzsche


Posts: 950 | From: Perth West Australia | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stapes
Paragon
Member # 2

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posted June 11, 2003 01:22      Profile for Stapes   Email Stapes   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 131549933
Holy shit that was one of the deepest poems I've read. I guess writing from your heart is the best thing after a break-up. I know that when my girlfriend broke up with me, I just wrote what I felt on paper that is still in my notebook and after about a week, I forgot about her.

I've never hear of ee, but I'll try looking for his work. I've just become interested in poetry myself, but I haven't looked at alot of it.


Posts: 2150 | From: Sconsin | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
Scotty the Great
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posted June 11, 2003 11:38      Profile for Scotty the Great   Author's Homepage   Email Scotty the Great   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 83373429
I have a thing for peotry, always have because I like to write it on occassion. Go figure.

But yeah FG, from my perspective, you've got potential; that was one of the best peoms I ever read. Then again, maybe the best works do come from life's tragedies. :s


Posts: 2906 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
FALLOUTGOD
Wandering Hero
Member # 94

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posted June 12, 2003 17:10      Profile for FALLOUTGOD   Email FALLOUTGOD   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 161401573   
Yes, an english teacher I had once told me that the greatest authors all had troubled childhoods and strugles. I tried writing storys but most people say I just don't have any narative ability but then my teachers praise my essays... but essays aren't story's and I've done so many with as much school as I had to re-do so bleh just rambling on for no reason

--------------------

xcuse me while i kill my self
blow my brain across the wall
fuck you all, how do you do
fuck me? fuck you too
and now i end this all

xcuse me while...... i kill my seeeeeeeeeeeeeelf


Posts: 389 | From: some-place-near-hell | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Scotty the Great
Paragon
Member # 1

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posted June 12, 2003 17:42      Profile for Scotty the Great   Author's Homepage   Email Scotty the Great   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 83373429
I don't fully understand English teachers. Whenever I throw together a paper to make it sound all professional, I get a high grade. When I try to make it more interesting by adding colorful language and such, I get a lower grade. Go figure; then again, I never understood teachers to begin with.

Posts: 2906 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stapes
Paragon
Member # 2

Member Rated:

posted June 12, 2003 20:26      Profile for Stapes   Email Stapes   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 131549933
AH! NO TALK ABOUT SCHOOL! I'm out of school and am damn glad that I'm out!

Posts: 2150 | From: Sconsin | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
FALLOUTGOD
Wandering Hero
Member # 94

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posted June 13, 2003 17:45      Profile for FALLOUTGOD   Email FALLOUTGOD   Send New Private Message     Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote    UIN: 161401573   
not really scotty, you have to be both, such as say you needed to write a story it have to be colorful yet professional and such

heres an example excuse my spelling and slight writing dyslexia

Ragnor tread slowly across the crystal white expanse of the tundra, his mind set on the mountains ahead. Frost bit at his eyes through his helmet visor forcing him to squint in order to see through the snow storm. Glad that he had his armor inlaid with fur he pushed against the wind which seemed to push him only farther away. The mountains loomed ahead with a dark aura of doom for those who dare to take their jagged and winding paths. Almost no man dared walk the expanse of the snowy plain alone, for fear of a numbing death and an icy grave. He held no fear of this as he was no ordnary man but a warrior of the great Harayshian kingdom. The blood of many waring generations pumped through his thick veins as he pushed through the knee deep snow. Black and leafless trees stood about him as he neared the mountain passes. The branches scraped against his armour plating and tore at his belowing cape, he tugged it up around himself and pushed on with even more determanation as he neared the thicker part of the woods. The wind still pushed him back but not as furiously as before, he knew he had to find a place to rest though. Dark clouds began to swallow up all the light that was left in the gloomy sky and howling could be heard from all directions, some distant, some closer. The snow had seeped into his boots and his legs and feet were going numb from the cold. Ragnor saw a distant cave on the mountain side and needed no formal invitation at this moment as he only wanted to save his hide from the worgs and the bitting cold of the stormy night to come. He grabbed all the dry wood he could find and some dryed out grass from from around a frozen stream not far from the cave. Giving a big sigh of relief he lit a torch he grabed from a leather carrying bag on his belt and walked into the dark cave. The sun had been washed out from the sky and thunder struck all about the dark expanse of the night. As Ragnor built his fire in the cave and examined its small interior he felt something like a warning. Howling, that was just a while ago drowned out by the wind outside the cave, was getting louder and closer. Knowing by the largnes of the cave and the amount of bones in one corner this was not an ordinary pack of wolves. He drew his longsword out from its sheath, the dark adamantite gleaming in the fire light, its razor sharp edges a promise of death to all those who dare face Ragnor. Smirking at his luck he guessed he would not have an easy time claiming this cave for himself. Fearless and determined he stood his ground awaiting the onslught to come. Eyes gleaming like fire, muscles tensed and strained for the sake of controling the rage building withing him. Trained to be a bloody thirsy demon and a sinister feind he was no easy opponent to defeat. He was rage filled and angry past the human limits of the emotion and he was trained to control it. A diciplined warrior whos art is the inner rage that we all try to hide because of the fear that we can not control it. Knowing from birth that we can all feel so angry we fear what we may do, yet he never tried to hide it or fear it. Ragnor learned to control it, fighting with fury only asociated with the denzines of hell, becoming the most feared warroir in the reagion. He has torn off mens limbs with ease when angerd and only being of avrage build no one suspected him to be cable of such things. Ragnor was the last heir of the harayshian royal blood line, a leniage know for it's great conquests and vitorys long ago. Yet the kingdom fell and no beast or man was going to stand in his way of rebuilding his ancestors dreams.

--------------------

xcuse me while i kill my self
blow my brain across the wall
fuck you all, how do you do
fuck me? fuck you too
and now i end this all

xcuse me while...... i kill my seeeeeeeeeeeeeelf


Posts: 389 | From: some-place-near-hell | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged

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