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Author
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Topic: Random Rendering #003
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Scotty the Great
Paragon
Member # 1
Member Rated:
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posted December 12, 2003 20:28
This is something that I've been toying with for a while now. I'm still not sure if I like it, but I decided to post it anyway (because, well, I'm tired of editing it).Erm, lemme know what you guys think: He looked up and set his gaze to the bright sun,
And wondered about what he had done.
To give no regard to his horrid past
Almost made him feel at peace at last.
But one can never fully be free
Of the burden of such treachery.
As the past will always return to haunt,
And those memories will always taunt,
And now he finds himself hopelessly confused,
With the horror of how he had been abused.
Cast out of the home he fought to save,
After such the risk of an early grave;
It seemed unreal, and certainly improbable.
But he should have seen what was so palpable!
The Overseer may have spoken the truth,
And he had robbed the vault of its youth.
They followed him and created a village
In isolation, seemingly safe from any pillage.
Of course that does not forgive what was done.
The overseer sent him away as if he was no one!
And at first his following made him quite overjoyed,
As he knew his old friend must have been annoyed.
But now, he looked around and saw his tribe
And shuddered briefly from this new bad vibe
For his years had quickly passed him by
And this depressing thought made him sigh.
He eagerly wished back his youth when he was stronger,
But that was gone, and he would not live much longer.
What is to become when he dies
Of the village Vault 13 does despise?
He wished he had not been followed,
For this is the sorrow in which he now wallowed.
If he had been alone, there would not be
The worry of the approaching travesty.
He thought “without me, their grand hero,
My people are as doomed as those at ground zero.
If I lived my days alone and simply died
There would be no one that would’ve cried.
I do not want to leave them right now.”
And then he wiped the sweat from his brow.
He looked back to his village and grinned
And realized, despite how his past was sinned,
That after him there would always be his son
Who would protect the village as the Chosen One.
That thought struck him with intrigue,
And now his eyes blinked from fatigue.
He was old and realized he needed sleep
And now he knew the village would weep.
But regardless of his tortured past
He felt sure the pain would not last.
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Posts: 2906 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2002
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Arcanus
Vault Veteran
Member # 158
Rate Member
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posted December 13, 2003 15:41
quote:
#1 wasn't all dat great; at least I don't think it was. #2 was an actual story.
is it poem? if so, i WONT bother to read it, not even if it were about austin powers.
quote:
Yes, I was wondering how long it would take for somebody to notice that.
you always wonder when someone will notice something about your signature  EVERYTIME you get a new one...
*edit* ill just check if its poem myself 
ok, it wasnt poem, but i didnt even notice the word rocket launcher so i stopped reading after a few minutes.
[ December 13, 2003: Message edited by: Arcanus ] -------------------- quote:
Originally posted by Ratty:
You are now the Spam God of Fallout community!
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Posts: 766 | From: Sweden, Luleå | Registered: Dec 2003
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The_Lonely_Phox
Wanderer
Member # 147
Rate Member
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posted December 16, 2003 09:38
nice, lots of spare time on yer hands.i found some parts i felt wasnt good like these The overseer sent him away as if he was no one!
And at first his following made him quite overjoyed,
As he knew his old friend must have been annoyed That after him there would always be his son
Who would protect the village as the Chosen One these lines in my opinion could be worked on, the feeling of the overseer is commented earler plus the overjoyed and annoyed dont fit the theme..i think, plus son and one dont ryme.. =p~ the son part is really corny in my opinion.... [ December 16, 2003: Message edited by: The_Lonely_Phox ] -------------------- "Death is the passage of life into the next"-unknown
"a noob is just an unexperianced veteran"-me to raz 2004
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Posts: 84 | From: Cincinnati OH, USA | Registered: Nov 2003
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